Californians & Germans, Oh My!

I know I promised foreign countries, but after thinking a minute I decided that South Carolina was too much cultural shock for the uninitiated. So it’s off to Kruger National Park in South Africa. Kruger is about the size of Connecticut and a really great place to spend a month or so tracking wild animals. We were there for over three weeks, but what this is about took place the morning of our first full day.

We had a rented British made Ford and were driving up a narrow paved road when suddenly two guys dressed all in black and carrying very large rifles slung over their shoulders came into view riding bicycles. When they motioned us to stop, Marilyn, my wife whom I call The Dwarf, was driving and muttered something about running for it. I told her it was very difficult to outrun a bullet so she pulled over. The two brutes blocked the road about fifty feet in front of us. I started mentally counting our money. We didn’t have much, but then you don’t need a lot of it in Kruger.

Meanwhile the other big guy, not African, came over to my side of the car. I swear he almost had to get down on his hands and knees to look in at us. His face seemed to fill the entire window frame, and I was ready to turn over every cent we had. From here, the rifle was about the size of a small cannon. Then I saw the badge. They were Park Rangers!

‘ Sir,’ he began in soft, perfect English,’ are you a German?’ I assured him that I was not, even though my national origin is German. ‘ Then you must be Americans.’ I nodded and started to tell him so was the Dwarf, but he went on. ‘ Are you from California?’ I denied that and told him we were from the other end of the country, Washington, DC. So he spent about a minute telling me how much he wanted to come and see all our art galleries, and were they really all free? I confirmed that. He smiled and motioned for us to proceed, ut I was too interested in knowing why it was okay as long as we weren’t either German or Californians to go on. So I asked him why ..

Now he really bent down so his head filled the window and his smile stretched from one sill to the other. ‘ Sir, Californians and Germans do not listen to us or obey our rules. They get out of their cars when ever and where ever they want, and our lions and leopards often eat them. The smile that creased across his face was so warm, Marilyn and I broke into laughter and went on our happy way.

However, that’s not the end of this take. About two weeks later we were in a very large camp ground and the talk of the place was about two Americans who got out of their car so they could take their pictures standing along side of a sleeping lioness and her two cubs. We were told that all the guards found were three canvas hiking boots. And guess what!!! We were told someone heard that they were from Santa Monica!!!!!

Next up . . . . CHRISTMAS IN SPAIN WITH THE DRUNK FOR LUNCH BUNCH !