A Real Web-Crawler...My Cub

Usually I hide names, but this time I will use a real one, because Alan is My Cub. Someone I love. Perhaps you can’t understand this, but every once in a while teachers give birth to a son or daughter; no pain, not even aware. You just turn around and they’re there for the rest of your life. It’s really a nice event. It’s happened lots of times to me, but he is a favorite.

So one day I walk into my classroom, about five minutes before the next pack of wild animals need to be calmed and trained. I go over to the desk as the cub’s voice says, ‘ Good afternoon Mr. Reefer Man. ‘ and I tell him to come out from under my desk. When I look he’s not there, but a cynical chuckle follows me around the room as I look under all the larger desks. Finally his voice says, ‘ Hey, Mr. R, I’m up here!’I look up, he’s crouched over my door frame; hands gripping the sill and feet braced so he’s forming a perfect vise that holds him. I refuse to encourage any student. I’m the boss. I don’t need a chair , a whip or a gun. ‘ Get the hell off of there before you hurt yourself,’ I growl, and he let’s go and drops noiselessly to the floor.

Next: Marilyn and I take ten of my senior girls camping and caving. We also take four sturdy lads as camp cooks and general slaves. The men must do all the chores, and must sleep in one tent with me. In fact Marilyn started things by only taking the girls in the cave in the morning. I took a nap while the slaves got lunch and set up camp. When I came out two of them were squinting up at a very long and high face which was about two hundred feet high. When I looked up, I damned near wet my pants!

Harry, the brightest kid in the school was half way across the traverse, pressed against the white wall, about a hundred feet in the air. Perched above him, just as if he were over my door, was Alan! My imagination saw both plunge to their deaths and me in jail!!! So it goes! However, Harry was inching along and Alan was squatting just over him. It seemed like an hour before Harry was safely on the far side and Alan was beside him. I cursed them both out for ten minutes and confined them to my tent.

But . . . . What the hell . . .I called Alan out and he confessed he started over that thing, but had told Harry to stay put. ‘ Mr. R., Harry thinks ‘cause he’s smart, brains let him do whatever he wants. He can’t concede talent is alien to intelligence. So I forgave Alan, but only for half the crime. Harry remained in the tent for the entire day.

Next day we all went spelunking into Sennet Cave. It’s dry and fairly safe. There’s also a Civil war Salt Peter mine where the Rebs got stuff for gun powder. It’s the size of a football field and you have to scale about thirty feet to get in into it. I didn’t go up, but when Marilyn repelled down, then talked each of her girls to safety I was proud as . . .So It Goes!!! When the belaying rope snaked down, she suddenly hurled a curse at Harry. ‘ Harry I told you to come down last but on the rope, dammit!’ Harry was starting down and got stuck before he covered five feet. Dean drifted past him, gave Marilyn a nasty head shake and then Alan dropped over the side and talked good old Harry down. Again. As they touched the ground I reached out pretending to help Harry and punched him in his kidney. He went down like a tray full of dirty dishes! My Dwarf never suspected a thing!

The rest of the trip went well. Harry had to sit in a car. We locked all the keys in the other car. Harry also took his meals confined. And I decided my Cub was a pretty cool guy. He still is and now he’s a father of two sons, and well into middle age. Oh yeah. He just won a climbing contest!!! Next is the smartest French lady I’ve ever met! You’ll be amazed!!!