Marilyn and I retired on Friday, got married on Saturday and the following Thursday left on a 31 month honey moon. Not bad for starters, but this is about a trip into Germany, Belgium and Luxembourg with a former student who will remain nameless for ever.
We started down the Moselle River, the river of wine and cheese. The three of us in a Isusu truck. Camping all the way, we ran into Der Rules and German customs about what sort of wardrobe you wore on what certain day of the week. Tiers, Germany was fun. I was wearing knickers and it was Monday. We were told by dozens of eyes, this is not for today, dum koph!
Jarvis, our ex-student spoke German, French, Dutch and some form of American, and he never got use to waking in the morning in his tent and joining us for a bottle of cold white wine and cereal. ‘ God! You were such an academic tyrant, Mr’ R! How come you’re as loose as a goose now?’ I smiled and tilted another 70 cl. Marilyn had coffee. She had to drive.
We turned off the Moselle right after it entered France and headed east. Up the Rhine, one wine and cheese village after the other. German strudel, pancakes, and of course a beer now and then. Jarvis just shook his head and joined the party. And oh yes, we dropped into 1000 year old churches, abbeys, castles and did a few mussos on the way. But mostly we ate well and drank even better. Someone was always the designated drunk. And someone was always cold sober when driving.
Then we got to Luxembourg, land of PASTRY!!! In the capitol, there is an entire street devoted to nothing but! And, no one infringed on the next door neighbor! This place made only apple concoctions, and the next was plum. You might go down one side of the street, bleaching and struggling for the strength to U turn and come back the other way! This side is the Cake Aisle!
There’s every kind of cake your imagination has ever thought of! They’re single, double, triple and even four masters! Chocolate! Three kinds in one cake! Cakes with fruit in, on and around them! Cakes so heavy you need both hands to carry them to the truck! It’s a tough job but someone, who else but Americans, have to save the world from a sugar attack! We wade in, damn the losses! We’re here to save the world . . .again!
Marilyn finally steps over the line. I tell her to take twenty bucks and tell buy something. She proceeds to buy the street! She and Jarvis come back with two shopping bags! How can anyone manage to devour what’s lurking in those satin white sacks and stay sane? I CAN! WE CAN and we do! Well, not the last cake, the Two-Ton Tony! We gag when we think of finishing it off after we’re sprawled out on the ground, not knowing if we are going to throw-up or bow out on the sugar fix. It has to wait!
Next day we pull into a rest stop for a late Breakfast. Two bottles of Breakfast and The Cake. Marilyn cuts it into three huge chunks and we settle on the tail gate. Pass the breakfast and take a bite. Bow to the trucker’s horn as he flies by, waving his hand. We are saving the world. There is no doubt! My hand grows weary from holding the slice erect, so I forgo the wine and munch away. My beard reeks of cake and wine. My mind reeks of Marilyn and Jarvis. It’s the end of the excursion, but the beginnings of a impossible voyage which will take us into a Europe which is slowly dissolving for the third tioe in the 20th century.
We drop Jarvis off in Amsterdam and head out on what will be entitled Our Mad, Mad, Mad, Magical Misery Tour. You’ve experienced a bit of it. If you want more try my entries at www.wattpad.com. It’s called The Battles of Tibet., the M. M. M. M. T. And Not All Gates Are Pearly. I hope you enjoy it, or them. And Jarvis, we miss you. What the hell is going on in your life?