Paradise for $35 a day: South Africa

We hit Johannesburg, paranoid to the hilt. Grab a car and take off at 80 Mph to get out of the most dangerous city on earth! . . .we think. Ain’t so partners. Anyway, we speed north to
Pietersburg to a Holiday Inn, and side walk dinner. Next day we find out there are no openings in the near by National park and nothing for a week in Kruger National Park. It’s the Easter holiday. So we decide to stay at a farm about 35 miles south. Thabaphaswa, Potgietersrus, Limpopo Province, Wow!

A Dutch African family own the place. He was a retired president of South Africa’s National Bank Board. The government gave him a handsome retirement. So they had this recreation area. The mistress piled us in a Land Rover and gave us the grand tour. Their campground, was clean, shaded and had open showers, closed pit toilets. It looked good. Then the cabanas, with private showers and toilets, even better. Prices were really good. After we toured the entire facility, took in the biking trails, the game viewing stands, etc, she drove up to this stone, thatched roof house called the Pomphuis Cottage, and sighed as she gave us their price for it. I decided to look inside anyway.

The iron bed was not as large as a football field. The bath tub seated three at least. The wagon wheel twenty candle lighting fixture seemed a little wonderful, and there was a modern kitchen, a stone patio for game viewing, a fire pit for grilling and we were two miles from any one else. ‘ You have to be careful of panthers and leopards . We have a cattle pen near here and they prowl the area all the time. I noticed there was as electrified fence surrounding us, Marilyn was chuckling behind my back. ‘ We’ll take it for a week,’ she smiled. ‘ can we give you Amex checks?’ Seems we could. Oh, wine was free, no end to the amount of hot water, and damn if the cats didn’t roam at will! We sat out at night as she got her first look at the Southern Heavens. The stars were the size of grapefruit, and the cats growled an excellent choral as we drank our fill.

For ten dollars for three hours we could ride horses at this other ranch and see our first Zebras, Giraffes, Wildebeasts, a Cheetah, and lots of little jumping beasts. Oh, free cold beer half way around, and the mounts were wonderful! We also got invited to dinner. The two huge lion dogs allowed us to pull up to the main house, but our matron rushed out and told us to be careful. ‘This time of night the grass is full of Puff Adders.’ Then she explained how their bite didn’t kill but let a huge crater in your skin where the flesh rotted. So it goes. Marilyn hates the word snake. I had to get out of our car each night and sweep the area with flash lights before she would take the two steps necessary to get into our house.

At dinner, he casually mentioned that the other morning he had to kill a cobra in their living room. He used a broom! ‘ Cobras like getting in here to get warm.’ I swear he said it like they were piss ants not deadly eight foot snakes. Oh, The young ones are the worst. No control over how much they inject!’ Dinner was half a side of beef and some game. Marilyn ate beef. Wines were excellent, and when I complimented them on their solid cherry furnishings, they laughed and said this beautifully grained wood was actually Stink Wood. ‘When you cut it, it really stinks,’ she offered. The week vanished so quickly. We enjoyed it so, we went back for two nights before we flew out. I hope it’s still there and someone is keeping the cats off the cattle and there’s a fire in the fireplace and the candles are lighted and the tub is filled to the brim! Try it young lovers.